“To the original people of this continent, each day is a day of thanksgiving to the Creator.”

“Happy Turkey Day!” said my now-husband.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” I replied.

“Yes, Happy Turkey Day!” he smiled.

It was subtle. I didn’t get it at first. In the 8 years since I’ve known this man and his family, I’ve learned so much about his Native culture and heritage. And yet I still know so little.

Growing up, I had no idea Thanksgiving Day is a sensitive topic. Born to a Swiss mother and an American father, we “celebrated” with a Turkey and stuffing and pie and family, no matter where in the world we lived.

I remember the first year my family lived in the U.S. At school, we presented a Thanksgiving play, in which I was proud to have the lead role. I was in 2nd grade, and I don’t remember anything else about the play. This article from the Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian resonates so much. Like the author Dennis W. Zotigh, I now know the play, the costumes, the story - everything was wrong.

So much of what I have learned about Native culture over the past few years is so much richer than what I learned in school. Having spent much of my life living and traveling abroad, I know that a lot gets lost in translation. And everything depends on the translator.

This gives us an opportunity. To do better.

Black Friday is also National American Indian Heritage Day. It’s one of the reasons I never run a Black Friday special. The value of consumerism vs. the Native value of daily gratitude and honoring the gifts of the Creator are simply too far away from each other.

Perhaps this year instead of making sure not to miss any of the “deals” on stuff you really don’t need, go for a walk in the woods, give thanks to nature and the earth for all of its gifts, and take a moment to educate yourself on Native people today. If you’re looking for resources to educate your children, check out the Children’s Hour videos from the Tomaquag Museum YouTube channel. I love this video where Lynsea Montanari talks about Cranberries and how the Narragansett people celebrate 13 thanksgiving each year. Watch the video

Giving thanks is an every day thing for Native peoples. It’s so integrated into their daily routine and life that it’s laughable that the rest of us need a special day each year to remember to do it. I say this not to create shame around it, and instead to inspire you. What ways can you integrate a daily practice of gratitude into your life?

Another thing I’ve learned from my husband and Native family is that not every Native person uses the same words to describe themselves or their culture. Some refer to themselves at Native Americans, other American Indians, and others still something else. Many of them express how tired they are of correcting us non-Natives, and so they leave it alone even though we continue to get it wrong.

This year’s national conversations about race have brought all this to the fore. Even though I don’t know all the ways in which I may be dishonoring Native culture and heritage, I now know that I don’t know. I know to ask instead of assume. And I know to call it Turkey Day instead of Thanksgiving.

As I write this, I can hear some of my non-Native vegan and vegetarian friends cringing. If you saw and learned about the rituals of gratitude that Natives enact before going out to hunt, kill, and eat any animal - minimally three separate rituals, you might feel differently.

Perhaps some day my husband, his family, and other Native Americans will choose a new name to represent this day of mourning for them while encouraging all of us to celebrate, gather, and give thanks for all our blessings from the Creator.

Until then, Happy Turkey Day everyone!

P.S. part of honoring the animals we eat is using the whole animal. So put your turkey carcass in a big pot, cover with water, and get to making some soup!